Yesterday while commuting to work I heard an interesting question being posed on the Russ Parr Morning Show. Russ Parr asked his listeners "Who do women dress for? Do they dress mainly for men, women, or themselves?" This has been quite the conundrum for me for quite some time. Day in and day out I watch women and girls alike put their "goodies" on full display. While a student at Murray State University I believed women were busy "dressing up" to distract men. Yes I did say distract a man. In my young mind they weren't trying to attract a man because most of them already had a man. These young ladies seemed like they just wanted to recieve the attention of every other man. She wanted to know if "she still had it." With maturity my mindset has changed.
While researching this very topic I came across an article written by an evolutionary psychologist. She explained "Women with men that dress in this manner are following their primal drive to provide the strongsest, most virile productive father for their children. Out of this primal drive comes the need to attract a great mate. Apparently this drive is so powerful that women unconciously try to attract a better mate!" Being a man that deeply respects science I could have taken the psychologist's answer and concluded women dress for men but this didn't sit well with me. What about the women who don't have a man that dress up. The women that dress sexy.
I don't know about you but I am not willin to accept an answer that states anyone "unconciously tries" to do anything. Our creator gave us the ability and the right to make a choice. Now this psychologist wants us to believe that we make decisions based on "unconcious" thoughts." So women dress provocatively and even dress up because they want to "attract a great mate." If that is the case, why does it seem like places where few men frequent them are filled with women who still dress up and still dress very sexy? Let's look at Spellmen College in Atlanta. This college is an all girl school and it is known for having a large crop of well dressed women walking to and from class. These women were the business suits, the power pumps, and some even wear the outfits that are formfitting. Yet there are no men in sight. Unless you want to say these young ladies "unconciously" want to find themselves a sugar daddy. Are they dressing for their professor? I doubt taht. At least the majority of them aren't. I guess in this case we can assume that women dress for other women right? Well you know what they say about assuming anything and I am not about to go down that rought.
So what is it then? Do women dress for men or do they dress for other women? There also is a pocket of society that says women dress for themselves. Some women take the time to look extra sexy and extra nice while they relax at home alone. Some of them are very meticulous in their actions. Taking time to do their hair making sure it looks good. They take the time to wear the sexy underwear and brassiers because it makes them feel sexy. But guess what? They are doing this for themselves. Not for a man or a woman. To these kind of women, clothing is just an extension of their inner beauty. To her it doesn't matter what any man or woman thinks about. She wants to feel good for herself. This woman doesn't wear makeup because she loves her natural beauty. Once again we are left asking the question. Why do women dress up? Now we are saying women dress for themselves. Clearly this must be a small pocket of women, right? Now I find myself in a dilemma. On one hand I have women who dress to find a "better mate." On another hand I have women who want to outdo other women. Last but not least we have spoke about those that want to dress for themselves. Now we are back to square one. After this breach in my research I decided I should do my own case study.
After concluding I didn't have enough evidence to argue either way I took Russ Parr's question to the comment lines of Facebook and the answers really gave me a clear look at what "everyday" women thought. The women gave a totally different view then the psychologists who claimed women follow "unconcious primal drives." For instance, Amanda Bochert of Tennessee stated that she believed women dressed for both men and women. Lauren Horton, a native of Louisville, KY, argues that insecure women dress for men, while women with low self-esteem dress for other women.
Finally a break through. Now we were getting somewhere. It seems like these two women were in agreement with Matthew Winters who argued that "what women wear speaks volumes about who she is, how she values herself, and the message she wants to give off." He also added, "Many dress with these three main points in mind." Could Matthew of Texas be onto something? Lauren Horton chimed back in "that confident women dress for themselves." Looks like the man from Texas could be correct. Depending on the woman's image of her self will determine how she dresses. I am fully aware there are exceptions to the rule. Understand these are teh findings from the Facebook Case Study.
Shelley Strickland, a woman from Tennessee, explained, "I could care less about what other women think because men like women in different clothes." She also added, "If a woman were dressing for a man she'd be in jeans a t-shirt with her natural body." Honestly I have to agree wtih Shelley. A woman who wants to attract a man doesn't have to do all that extra stuff. I had a great opportunity of meeting a very beautiful young lady at church. When I met her there was an instant attraction and an instant chemistry between us. I will admit when I first saw her she did have on a little make up, jewelry, and she was dressed in professional attire. Whats crazy is the fact that when I had the opportunity to see this woman in a pair of jeans, a green t-shirt, and no makeup I melted like a bag of M&M's in someone's pocket on a hot summer day. Ever since that day I have found myself seeking the courage to remove the lump from my throat so I could let her know how I truly feel.
Ladies and gentlemen I must leave you with a question. Who do you think women dress for? Clearly the jury is still out. Please leave me your comments. Remember the Truth Speakers Seek the Truth in everything we do. Please chime in and give us the TRUTH!!!!
2 comments:
After reading the above, I would confer that women "dress up" for a combination of all those reasons. Some dress up because they are "insecure" with hopes of gaining a since of security from a man. They show off everything they have believing that it will get them everything in return when in reality it only attracts a man for the wrong reasons. Moreover, this leads to harsh circumstances- the woman gets hurt and begins to stereotype all black men to be the same way(A whole different subject).
Then there are women who dress to impress the other women. They buy all the high fashion purses, clothing and heels in hopes that they can be labeled as "better" than the next girl, when they don't realize that the materials things doesnt define one being "better". They can't interpret that its not the "material" things that they have, but the attitude that sets them apart from the next.
Then there are the women who dress for themselves. They live by the saying "If you look good, then you feel good". They use what they wear to express themselves and how they feel. The clothes don't define them, they define the clothes. They can make a $25 dollar bag look like Louis Vuitton.
With that being said. I think there are many other small components as to why women "dress up", but those would be the most likely of them.
Great Article.
@Cathleen I would agree. Women do “dress up” for a combination of reasons. The hardest part for a brother like myself is to figure out why said woman is dressing the way she is. We in the African American community have a sad misunderstanding that stuff makes us who we are. When in actuality we make the stuff what it is. Our people are struggling and going into debt because we think materials make us to “better.” Until we recognize we are what makes these things great we are going to be struggling to become financially secure for generations to come. How do women get over this? Do they ever grow out of this buying syndrome? Do they ever realize that you don’t have to put your hidden treasures on full display for a man to be attracted to them? Will they ever realize that it’s not the outfit that makes the next woman grab attention? Maybe I should clean that up. Get the positive attention they are really interested in. There is a whole lot of attention going on but being on the wrong list isn’t a good look. I didn’t say this earlier but I also know that the African American community is stuck on the “Fake it till you Make it prescription.” I guess this not only affects females but it affects the male species as well in the African-American community. What do you think? Thank you for the compliment
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